Tag Archives: character

A Gordian Knot

Today I finished a short story that I started maybe two years ago and which I’ve been wrestling with on-and-off occasionally ever since. I had reached a sticking point, and I feel I may have solved the problem today.

When I write a short story it often starts with a character, or a scene. I have plenty of scratchings and notes of this sort which may never become short stories of their own. Some of them might be chiseled and shaped, or molded into new things and added to or inserted within another project or a different story.   Many of them remain as notes or scenes or character descriptions for characters who will never be given a story. Hopefully I’ll come back to some occasionally and expand on them.

This short story started out with two characters, young boys, our protagonist and his only friend. As I wrote it I reached a point where the two characters were, I feel, well developed and the relationship between them was well-defined with a few nuances. The lesser characters with whom they interacted were shallow, as is often required in a short story where an economy of words is essential, but I was overall happy with the characterisation.

The setting was part of the world I created for my novel “Exile”, so it was well developed. If anything it was perhaps over-developed for the needs of the short story. As with “The Green Monkeys” and “A Choice of Kings”, also set in this fictional world (“The Green Monkeys” also set in ‘Talamh’), there was a challenge in leaving out some of the irrelevant detail I had developed. This is sometimes a problem for Fantasy writers and authors. Once someone has created a highly-detailed alternative world there is a compulsion to tell your readership all about it. In detail. Too much detail. George RR Martin has spoken of how important it is to use only the details of the setting that are relevant to the plot, and invented only a few words of Valyrian or Dothraki (only those that the text required to demonstrate how the languages were different and foreign). Joe Abercrombie has spoken of his distaste for maps and his novels always reference their setting with a deliberately lack of specificity. Tolkein on the other hand created a meticulous history and several languages for Middle Earth. In truth the stories of Middle Earth, “The Hobbit” and “The Lord of the Rings” were by-products. Tolkein was a professional philologist and his central concern was to develop languages, from these he created Middle Earth so that people could speak his languages; the narratives that resulted were never his intended goal, and while in many instances the detail of Tolkein’s setting is what set him apart and spawned his legion imitators really few people complained when the film adaptation cut whole chapters of Tom Bombadil out. It didn’t detract from the narrative at all.

The plot I also had mapped out. I don’t usually map a plot too early in my process. As I said the story will start as a scene or a character, I’ll build on that, hopefully develop a conflict and some complications and at that point sit down to map them out. In this instance I had an initiating circumstance, a conflict, rising complications, a conclusion, and a resolution. I knew what would happen, how each event would lead to the next, and how the story would end.

In short I had everything I needed: characters, setting, plot. And yet one scene was holding me up. I knew what needed to happen in the scene. I knew who was involved. I knew where in the narrative the scene belonged. I knew what brought the characters together at that point. I knew where they had to go after that scene… I just couldn’t write it. I tried. Several times. It always sounded naff. Not terrible. Kinda ‘passable’ but just… not good enough.

It was frustrating.

So today I took a different path. No more chiseling at the edges, no more gentle molding, no more sanding back or polishing, no more pulling at threads hoping the knot would unravel. I took the sword to it. I cut it right back, made the dialogue do a lot more of the heavy lifting, took out some unnecessary details and…

And I think it’s worked. Maybe I wake up in the morning and post a retraction. Maybe it was horrible and needs to be re-written, but for the first time I am confident that at least structurally it’s right. The drafting and revising process isn’t finished, but it’s close, and the story actually looks like a story now. There’s not a great big chunk missing out of the middle like there had been.

It’s called “To the Iron Hills”, and it’ll be between 7,500 and 8,000 words complete. I’ll post a couple of thousand words as an excerpt here soon, but I’m keeping most of this one up my sleeve for now and I’ll definitely be submitting it to some publication markets when it’s ready. I reckon this one’s a good one.


Characters

So I’ve put up the second character profile for my new project. She’s obviously markedly different from the protagonist of the piece, but then narrative is conflict I suppose.

Now in both these cases the character profiles are quite extensive. As these will be the two main characters so there’s a fair bit of extra work put into giving them a back-story and motivations that will make sense of their decisions and actions in the plot.

So I figured I talk a little today about what I think makes a good character in a narrative. There’s plenty of web resources covering this topic, but here’s my 2 cents:

Make them flawed.

Think of all the most popular characters in fiction and you won’t have to think for long to find their flaws. There’s whole blogs to be filled with the flaws of Macbeth, Hamlet, Romeo, Leer and Shakespeare’s creations, so too the Greek tragedies, but let’s, for the sake of brevity, confine our discussion to the last couple of decades. Humbert Humbert was a pedophile, Leopold Bloom couldn’t keep his thoughts in order, Sherlock Holmes was a drug addict (and almost certainly insufferable company), Yossarian was insane (but not insane enough), Randle McMurphy was too sane, Billy Pilgrim was unstuck in time, Kurtz was a megalomaniac and a murderer, Winston Smith was old and weak and pathetic, Atticus Finch… well there’s always an exception.

Seriously though it’s the flaws that we as readers want to see. Even in non-realistic narratives. Superman gets a lot more interesting if there’s kryptonite about. Batman is the best superhero character because he is the most flawed. Harry Potter is flawed because (spoiler alert) he has part of Voldemort’s soul in him. We watch Star Wars because of Darth Vader (who’s evil) and Han Solo (who’s a ‘rogue’). I doubt the films would have been so popular if they were all about Luke going into Tosche Station to pick up some power converters.

George Martin understands this better than most. So too do Scott Lynch, Joe Abercrombie and Richard K Morgan. Tolkein probably didn’t.

Allow readers to relate to them

Characters aren’t really people. Although you want them to be realistic you need some room for the reader to wriggle in and make themself part of the narrative. This is where Luke Skywalker comes in, and Frodo, and Charles Marlowe, and Harry Potter in the first few books (we only find out about his flaw after several increasingly large volumes), and so many others.

I wasn’t raised by my uncle and aunt on tatooine, but I know what it’s like to have too many chores and to wish my life could mean something more than just working on the family farm. I’ve never had a magic ring but I know what it’s like to feel over-burdened and crushed by responsibility. I’ve never been to Africa but I know what it’s like to be in a strange place where the cultural rules you know don’t count for much and you’re trapped on a journey to a task you don’t really want to do. I’ve never been to Hogwarts but a new school and I’m an outcast… I could go on.

The best example of this rule (but possibly the worst example of every other rule) is Bella from Twilight. Now I’m basing this on the films because I’ve seen two of those but  haven’t read any of the books. Bella is a shell. She’s utterly empty and devoid of any personality, will or individuality. This makes her the perfect vessel for the reader. You can pick up Twilight and start reading and in your imagination you’re imagining yourself having to choose between the perfect (but dead) Edward and the perfect (but not Edward) Jacob. *swoon*

Give them a purpose of their own

Not just their purpose for your story, but a purpose to their own being. It doesn’t have to make sense to us, but it has to make sense to them. There’s still a pantomime thrill in having a character do something you, the reader, know is dumb. If it seems to them that it’s the best thing to do but the reader knows something they don’t then no worries. Of course if they’re basing their action or decision on something we know but the character doesn’t you have a problem.

When we do something we vary rarely (Plato and Aristotle would argue basically never) do it for its own sake. We always have some other goal, or end, in mind. I don’t go to the gym because I have a really massive desire to pick up iron and put it back down where I found it. I don’t go for a run because of the run itself. I do these things because I believe that if I do I will be fitter and healthier. I want to be fitter and healthier because I believe it will bring me a happier, longer life. I want a long life because I want to spend more time with my family and see my boys grow up. I want to be there when they grow up so I can help them to be good people and live good lives (whatever that means).

My point is that characters will have these long-term motivations too. As a writer you need to balance the short-term and the long term motivations and create a pattern of actions which make sense. Of course there’s room to create a capricious or unpredictable character, but even they will want to achieve something in the end.

Make them grow

Maybe growth is a loaded term, but make them change at least. Maybe not every character, and maybe not a lot, but over the course of your story someone or someones need to change.

There’s examples in Harry Potter and Star Wars again (think of Luke Skywalker, or Harry himslef, or better yet the many changes of Snape, or the vast change in Neville). In the Game of Thrones (spoiler alert) Robert bemoans his own transformation from warrior hero to fat alcoholic, Arya goes from nobleman’s daughter to a criminal boy (even if it is a disguise).  Think of the reversal in Macbeth – initially he’s unsure and tending to loyalty even if it is through guilt, she’s egging him on, taunting him for his weakness. By the final act Macbeth is mad with bloodlust and Lady Macbeth overcome with guilt. This is what we wanted to see. How do people change? How are they affected by what’s happening to them, by the things they do or which are done to them?

Now there are exceptions. Call it ‘The Simpsons’ phenomenon (though it’s been around a lot longer than that). Bart will always be an underachiever. Homer will never learn. Lisa will always wear those pearls. But The Simpsons and the like are narrative McDonalds: we know it’s not really good for us but it’s comfortable, familiar, you know what you’re going to get from it.

Narrative force is in change, and it takes both character and plot development (more on that later) to make it happen.


Character Profile: Aisha Al-Bayati

This is a profile for the other major character in my new writing project.

Brian and Aisha will be the two central characters, with Brian is the protagonist and Aisha the deuteragonist I suppose. I’m not 100% comfortable seeing her as simply a foil for Brian though. I think Aisha’s role in the plot goes beyond her relative importance to Brian. She’s the one who brings in the Fantastical elements. She’s very important thematically, and she’s a strong counterpoint to Brian. Where Brian (due to his lack of confidence and acceptance of tragedy) is often quite passive and carried along by events, Aisha is more proactive; she seeks solutions and resists what fate seems to offer.

Aisha Al-Bayati

Aisha is a slight woman with dark-olive skin and large, brown eyes. Her face is narrow, almost pinched, as if from being underfed. She often looks tired. Her fingers are always busy, she’s often fidgeting with things or chewing her nails. Occasionally she’ll give in and have a cigarette.

She was born in Northern Iraq, the only daughter of a smaller offshoot from the Al-Bayati clan. Her family was well positioned in Iraqi society and relatively wealthy. Her father was a moderate and progressive. He, frustrated by the limited opportunities for his daughter and dissatisfied with Baathist politics, emigrated to Britain when Aisha was 14.

They lived in London and Aisha was educated in Britain. She always considered herself Muslim, but was very moderate in her interpretation and it became a less important part of her life. She enjoyed writing and studied journalism at City University in London, graduating in 1997. While studying she met other Arab Muslim students and reconnected with the religion. She fell in love with Bilal Alawi, another Iraqi Muslim studying in London. Like her father Bilal had anti-Baathist philosophy, but he felt that educated Iraqis had a responsibility to return to Iraq and try to effect change from within.

Bilal and Aisha were married in Mar 1998 (aged 23). She kept her ‘maiden’ name in a pleasant confluence of feminist and Islamic belief. The couple returned to Northern Iraq in June that year. She struggled with the culture-shock. The Baath party was stronger than either her or Bilal had remembered and the loss of freedoms to which she had become accustomed in Britain upset her more than she had anticipated. She had few friends, being ostracised by the local women due to her perceived airs (being educated and having an English accent even in Arabic). Though she sometimes wrote English language articles for smaller news services which Bilal submitted under his name she regretted leaving her aspirations as a journalist behind.

Aisha and Bilal had her first son, Mohammed, on April 24th 2000. She welcomed the boy, but having him made her long for her parents and a return to England. Bilal disagreed. Since his return to Iraq he had become a lot less idealistic and more pragmatic. He still professed privately to her to oppose the Baathists but more and more often he was working with members of the party. This disturbed Aisha and they sometimes fought over her desire to return to Britain. With her young son Aisha began to feel trapped and isolated. Bilal assured her that things were on the verge of change.

After the Sept 11 attacks of 2001 Aisha became more active in discussions of Islam and terrorism online. She ran an anonymous blog detailing life in Iraq under the Baathist regime. She kept this secret even from Bilal. Through this blog she re-connected with some contacts she had in Britain and some of her writing appeared in newspapers and other mass-media, always filtered through British journalists or Associated Press.

In January 2003, aware of the impending US invasion, she sent reports to the west and a request for help from her British contacts. She finally shared her secret with Bilal. He was furious and didn’t want to leave Iraq. He felt that Iraqi loyalists should welcome the US forces and help defeat the Baathists. He armed himself despite Aisha’s objections. Somehow Aisha’s blogging was discovered by others, and shortly after the US invasion she was labelled a traitor and a spy by others in the neighbourhood. The accusations were to be brought before a local tribal justice system in which neither she, nor Bilal, had faith.

In early February Aisha prayed over consecutive nights for protection and guidance. Within a week Bilal finally agreed that she should get out of Iraq. Her British contacts though couldn’t help her, citing the US invasion and becoming difficult to contact. Bilal had contacts who could take her through Al-Mosul and Al- Ya’rubiyah to a refugee camp in Syria, but they had to go before the borders were closed. Neither of them knew at the time she was pregnant. Bilal was supposed to join her after the invasion.

She was in the camp for nearly a year. Feeling betrayed by her British contacts she instead applied for resettlement to the US. In April she heard that Bilal had been killed by US forces. She changed her request for resettlement to South Africa, Canada or Australia. Her youngest son, Kaden, was born in the camp in August 2003. In January 2004 she was granted refugee status in Australia and resettled with her two sons, first to community housing in Flemington and then independently to Brunswick.

She has been in Australia since 2004. She does some freelance writing for a local community paper under a pseudonym. English papers are not that keen to have her by-line and while she speaks Arabic she doesn’t write in Arabic to a publishable standard. Her main income is social security which barely covers rent, food, bills and school costs. When she does have a little spare she sends it to her mother-in-law in Iraq.

She is religiously observant and believes in a spiritual duality of good and evil. She believes the Quran has evidence of Jinn and instructions on how to summon a Jinni. She believes that she had summoned a Jinni in Iraq which whispered to Bilal that he should save his family and get them out of the country. She believes that the same Jinni protected her during her time in the Syrian camp, but that the Jinni could not follow her to Australia. Because of recent stress both financial and social Aisha again prayed for protection. The next day Brian arrived at her flats. Aisha suspects Brian may be a Jinni in human form.

Her sons are now 11 and 8. Mohammed will turn 12 later in the month. She is mourning the death of Bilal. She’s unsure exactly when he died but she heard the news on the 8th April 2003. That makes Easter Sunday 2012 the 9th anniversary of his death. She wishes to recognise the date, but her grieving is complicated by the lack of clarity in Islam over death anniversaries. An Imam advised her that any religious observance of a death anniversary would be bid’ah.

Aisha is a smart woman and a strong one. She has a deep faith which she claims she has witnessed in the events of her life. She is pleased to be in Australia for the sake of her sons, but the overt racism against Muslims, especially women in the hi-jab, worries her. She is also worried by some of the young Muslim men who respond to this racism with their own violence and the preachers who she believes distort the Quran to more extremist readings. As a result she encourages her sons to attend a state primary school, speaks most often to them in English, and encourages them to get to know ‘Australians’. It is perhaps this desire to demonstrate the advantages of ‘integration’ that she initially speaks with, and shows kindness to Brian.


The best laid schemes…

Robert Burns had a point.

Last night I thought out my schemes for today. I came up with a shortlist of important (writing) things I wanted to do:

  • Add to this blog
  • Submit some material to a new, non-professional, e-zine for Australian Fantasy (they’re non-paying but accepting simultaneous submissions, and a successful submission would mean a publication credit and a confidence boost)
  • Submit a new short story to a professional market Australian Spec-Fic ezine (gotta keep on submitting)

I also had some other (non-writing) things. I had to get some stuff done for my actual, professional career (the one that pays the bills, puts food on the table and keeps a rented roof over my head). I had to do some shopping for groceries etc… I would have liked to go to the gym. I had to get some eggs for Easter. The list could easily go on.

So here I am. 8:30pm. Working on dot-point one.

What happened?

Well I have two sons. One is four, the other just over a year. The younger one has gastro. We found this out last night… the hard way. I will spare you the details but it involved frequent vomiting. My wife lost more sleep over it than me, but it was still a late night. Then the older one woke up at about 4:30 and he was all mine.

This morning the youngest one didn’t go to child-care, and my wife needed sleep, so that was most of my day. Then the actual important stuff, like the groceries, the sick child, the housework etc… took over.

I don’t post this as a sob-story or an excuse though. I post this because I believe this is part of being an amateur writer. I reckon it’s probably part of being a professional writer. I reckon it’s life, and it sure does “gang oft agley”

This is part of the reason my novel manuscript took nearly a decade of occasional work (the other reason is it’s a fantasy door-stopper of a novel weighing in at just over 241,000 words).  It’s the reason I don’t like those ‘write a novel in a month’ plans that are on the internet.

But, despite all this, sometimes plans go awry in a good way. I was walking my sick son this morning, as as I walked around I started to find that fragments of ideas that had been bouncing through my skull were coalescing into an actual, viable, novel plan. So when I got the boys to bed I wrote this plan out a bit, and now I’ve written a profile of one of the principal characters. Soon I’ll add more planning (in the draft heading of the menu) including a plotting planner I use and some other pre-writing exercises.

Based on the planning I’ve done so far I should get a manuscript of about 80,000 words out of this (I’m planning to write about 90 and trim up to 10 in editing). That’s about novel length. So if everything goes according to plan you should be able to watch as a novel goes from idea (today) to submitted manuscript (?)…

If everything goes according to plan.


Character profile: Brian Atley

This is a profile of a character I’m developing for a new project. It’s set in present day Melbourne, but there’s some elements of Magical Realism in it.

Sometimes when I’m planning my writing I try to put a page like this together for important characters. It helps me to get a sense of who they are, what brought them to the point in their life at which we meet them, what events in their history might shape their responses and actions, what motivates them…

This is entirely fictional. I do sometimes worry when I create these characters that someone I know might read it and assume I’ve based a character on them or some mutual acquaintance. I can honestly say that Brian is not based on anyone. He’s a little bit of me I suppose (as they all are), a little bit from a variety of people I know, a little bit of my observations into human behaviour, a little bit of literary free-licence to exploit my role as author and put the poor guy through hell to make him (hopefully) interesting and sympathetic to my readers. I’ll let you be the judge of that and add some other character profiles from this project soon.

Brian Atley:

Brian is 41yo. He’s always been a big guy; now he’s getting fat. His red hair that he jokingly calls ‘strawberry blond’. He has bright green eyes with deep crow’s feet around the corners and weather-worn skin. His nose is red and a little bulbous. He keeps a goatee which is more obviously red than his hair. His knees are shot from footy (from which he retired at 29 after being diagnosed with degenerative cartilage in his right knee), but he still has a strong frame and plenty of strength in his body. He lives in a one bedroom flat in Thomastown.

Brian was raised in the country and moved down to Melbourne at 13. He struggled to fit in at school and was not very good academically (he’d never finished a book until his son lent him ‘Harry Potter’ which he’s nearly finished now). He smoked a lot of pot. His parents were having troubles; Brian kept himself largely and deliberately ignorant.

When he was 17 his Dad shot himself in the head. They said it was a hunting accident and the gun had gone off while he was climbing through a fence. Brian didn’t believe it. Brian’s Mum and his younger sister (13 at the time) moved to Sydney where his maternal aunties and uncle lived. Brian stayed in Melbourne as he was six months into a bricklayer’s apprenticeship at Holmesglen Tafe.

He didn’t complete his training. He got stoned a lot and a few months after his Mum left he crashed his car while drunk. He lost his licence for 12 months and lost his apprenticeship with it. After almost a year on the dole he was convinced by Centrelink to do a Cert II in Security / Crowd Control. He didn’t mind the Security Guard work but didn’t like Crowd Control much. He worked on and off enough for a few years while getting some side $ as a decent footy player to scratch a living.

At 24 he married the sister of one of his footy mates. Sarah was a hairdresser with her own salon. They were happy together but she had trouble conceiving. After a year of IVF they had their first son Jaydin. Brian was 27. Four years and more IVF later they had twin girls Maysin and Madysin. They were premature by emergency C-section. Maysin survived a few hours; Madysin almost a day.

The stress of losing the girls and financial stress from Sarah not working and Brian’s infrequent employment put tremendous strain on the marriage. Brian hadn’t learnt any coping mechanism and began to recall his parents’ failed marriage. When Brian’s drinking made him miss shifts things got worse. Eventually they split, three days before Brian’s 33rd birthday.

Brian has spent the last eight years trying to overcome his alcoholism (not entirely successfully) and patch things up with Sarah (completely unsuccessfully). For a year or two he had no access to Jaydin, but has cleaned his act up enough that he now has monthly visitation and is trying for fortnightly. He works hard at his relationship with his son but can’t quite make it work.

Brian is genuinely a decent guy who has been dealt a pretty rough deal by life but takes the hits and keeps getting up. He’s damaged, but denies it. He avoids introspection and doesn’t talk too much about his past. He’s pessimistic in many ways and has come to expect that he “kinda deserves” ill-fortune. He has no strong religious conviction, a pretty mild streak of Aussie nationalism expressed in a faded southern-cross tattoo on his forearm and a vague philosophy that newcomers should ‘fit in and speak English’. Socially he’s a bit awkward. He’s a little too honest and can come across as tactless. He is curious of others though and prepared to ask questions. What prejudice he has is ignorance and he discards it as he gets to know people better. He doesn’t have a lot of patience for people who try to manipulate or fool him, but nor does he really hold grudges. Unfortunately his only practiced coping mechanism for dealing with conflict is violence.


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